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How To Deal With A Break Up

March 4, 2007

I was chatting with a friend of mine recently and this is how the conversation went:

-:*:-queen pat-:*:- 7 more dayz~! says:  

hey! what’s up with the sad personalised msg?

fallen star says:

well, u’re gonna hear the news soon anw. might as well tell u.

fallen star says:

we broke up.

-:*:-queen pat-:*:- 7 more dayz~! says:

wat?! y? sorry for asking. i know u muz be feeling rather… down..

fallen star says:

nah.. it’s ok. been 2 weeks alrdy. it shocked me too. she just ended it.

fallen star says:

i don’t even know what i did wrong. it sux.

fallen star says:

maybe it’s juz me. somehow, i felt she wasn’t happie w me alrdy.

-:*:-queen pat-:*:- 7 more dayz~! says:

gosh.. u need time to get over it definitely.. lemme know if u nid a listening ear ya? :)”

Well, fallen star knows that I’m posting this.. and today’s post is dedicated to him. 

Survive Breakup

When dealing with a breakup, it’s painful. Sometimes, you know the reason behind it, often, you don’t. How do you deal with it when you don’t know what went wrong and how it went wrong and the thoughts in your mind keep circling around the fact that perhaps, you were not good enough.

It’s hard to deal with a failure, especially one in a relationship and even more when you don’t know what had caused the breakup to take place. Friends have told me that it feels like a piece of flesh torn in them – often the heart, or that something was robbed away – often the love they forked out, or that it was a whirlwind that swept them away.

There are ways to deal with the aftermath of a sudden breakup and I just want to share them…

The Break Up1. Always Accept Your Feelings

>> Be they guilt, shame, disappointment or anger. Accept them. It’s natural to feel that way, especially when it takes 2 to clap – meaning a relationship needs to be sustained by two people. And if someone wants out, the other by nature, will feel that the reason of the break up is them.

2. Try To Understand More About Yourself From The Relationship’s Ending

>> Could it be due to a conflict or argument that might have been handled by you or your partner differently? Was it because of your temper, character or habits that caused your partner to think twice in being in a romantic relationship with you? Could it be because of conflicting interests? What did you want out of the relationship? What about your partner? Was there a difference?

 

3. Think About The Benefits To You

>> Now that you are single again, think about what benefits this could bring you? Perhaps you’ll feel happier, meet someone new or even pick up a new sport or activity. Find a way to forgive your former partner instead of harboring resentment, or thoughts about how to get even, because it will never make you happier.

4. Explore Your feelings By Writing It Down Or Confide In Someone You Trust

>> It’s good to write down the feelings that you are experiencing or to just share them with someone, rather than having negative feelings pile up within you. It will cause you to become depressed easily and that it will be difficult for you to see things in a positive light. Let the negative emotions come out of you. It will really make you feel better to know that you have support, when you’re feeling down.

Though being ditched by someone can be upsetting, not loving yourself enough and whallowing in self-pity is worse. Always remember, nobody loves you more than YOU do.

5. Spend More Time With Others

>> Undoubtedly, when you are in a relationship, you’ll be spending a huge amount of time with your partner. But now that he/she has exited suddenly, you’ll need to find support in your friends, family or even pet. Let them be a part of your emotional healing process and share with them your feelings.

Take up new hobbies and activities to spend the extra time that you may have now. Do something that you have always wanted to do! Like, watching soccer all night or going to clubs to check out the hottest babes in town, or just putting on your best outfits and going out to have a good time! Start a new positive friendship with someone!

Join online chatrooms (be sure to always protect yourself) or just join outings that your friends may organise to just get to know new people! You never know who you might meet!

Always look at things positively and get through difficult times with courage because you never know if you’ll find what great things God has planned out for you~!

Cheers!

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2 Comments

  • Reply zam January 16, 2008 at 2:31 AM

    hey there patricia! nice knowing u.
    well i just broke up with my ex gf recently. your points really makes sense and are proffesionally written. my respect goes to u. thanks, if i should say.

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- January 17, 2008 at 1:15 AM

    Hi zam,

    Nice knowing you too and I’m sorry to hear about your break up. Well, i’m sure glad that the article helped you to cope with your situation because I just wanted to share useful tips for people who might be in the same boat as my friend.

    I wish you all the best in your love life and certainly, it’s always easier said than done but do get going with your own life because that’s the only way through which you’ll realise that there are many other things worth living for. 🙂

    Cheers to life!

    Patricia

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