This memorial post comes 7 days late but I still wanted to post it anyway cos it’s a significant one year that had gone past.
It’s amazing how time flies..
When I first had to deal with losing my mother, I was really thankful for a very supportive network of friends and family. And rather than wallowing in self pity and misery, I turned to the Lord and He blessed me with this verse, “Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted. – Matthew 5:4”.
The Lord will never let you bear a weight that you cannot handle. He shall comfort you because He never allow you to remain sorrowful. Because His will is for you to rejoice in Him always.
In my mum’s last days, she kept telling me, “Be strong okay? Mummy has to go any way. Life will always go on. So live your life to the fullest.”
Indeed, she was right. Life did go on.
And life will go on.
The one year without my mum taught me is what she has always been telling me all my life.
No matter rain or shine, happy or sad, the sun will rise again. And life will continue moving. So we have to choose to be strong.. especially for those who are still living.
This one year taught me about resilience.
I didn’t know that I had inherited my mum’s hardiness until I went through the ordeal of picking up the pieces. It wasn’t easy to cope with the emotional demands of grief and the physical demands of getting back to running a full-fledged business and getting back to daily life.
She knew she left me in good hands – in the hands of God… in the hands of my dearest Daddy and definitely in the hands of my hubby, Calvin.
My mum used to to tell everyone (from her doctors, to family and even friends) that I’m an emotional kid who was very attached to her and outwardly, I look strong but I crumble like a cookie.
I hope today she acknowledges that I’ve proven her wrong.
This one year taught me about happiness.
I realized cherishing the present is where happiness lies. And it was the very first time, I truly understood the meaning of “happiness is a choice”. And it is a choice we can actively make every single day – TO BE HAPPY.
It was a very liberating experience for me as I started to make a conscious effort to pursue different matters in a positive light. It made my relationships and interactions with people more fulfilling, more positive and see my life very differently than before.
This one year taught me about compassion.
Compassion is something intangible but can always be felt and seen. I’ve never really understood why my mother was ALWAYS giving. Giving gifts, giving smiles, giving calls of concern… (seriously, I think my Dad and I are the only things she’s never attempted to “give away” lol~) but anyway, it always made me feel that she was so busy with the whole world but not with me.
But in this year, I realized something and that is, it’s only when you give, will you receive.
“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” – Proverbs 11:25
It is certainly more blessed to give than to receive. And it doesn’t have to be something expensive… it can be something as plain as a genuine compliment or even a smile.
I do miss my mum a lot… regardless of our litle squabbles and obstinate natures.
But life on Earth will always go on and she now resides in my heart and not a day goes by without missing her. Till we meet again…
In loving memory.. Lucy U Po (18 Sep 1956 – 8 Nov 2012)