Personal Development

Get Rid of Your Fears!

March 11, 2007

I seriously am afraid of enduring pain, in any form if that matters. And recently, the issue of piercing my ears came up and well, the thought of it, just made me squirm. I didn’t like the idea of having a device that looks like a gun, piercing through the flesh on my ear to create that puny little hole for me to attach earrings onto.

As much as I enjoyed looking at the many nice and beautiful earrings on sale everywhere, I wasn’t ready to face my fear of piercing my ears. And besides, I always told myself that beauty or actually the opportunity to wear earrings is not worth the pain – which by the way, lasts for only 3 seconds.

Well, on the day that Calvin and I went out to celebrate our anniversary, he dragged me to B*Dazzled.. this store at Wisma Atria. We were just in search of something nice for me – a bracelet, necklace, ring etc. And I just couldn’t make up my mind. UNTIL.. HE SAW THE POSTER THAT THE STORE DOES EAR PIERCINGS.

And the next thing I know, after an hour’s persuasion, I had 2 sales assistants holding onto each of my ear to pierce them both together. But guess what, I didn’t cry and I actually got it over and done with! 😉

How did I actually overcome my fear? Well, by challenging myself and my beliefs. I told myself that since there are so many people who have said that it’s not painful, I must trust them and test my endurance.

Well, that’s definitely not the best way to overcome a fear. And I’ve got a couple of better ones to share with you.

Make a list of your fears

>> You need to first admit that you have a fear for something. After which, search for ways to overcome your fear! There are many support groups available online actually!

Write down how these fears affect your life

>> Are they causing you discomfort or unhappiness? If they are, find the areas of your life which are affected and seek the peers/family members who are closely related to that area to help you to overcome your fear. Start building a support system of friends and family.

Know what is causing the fear

>> Become aware of the causes of the fear and take note of any negative messages that run through your head. Try to fight them off with positive thinking, that is affirming and constructive. Moreover, if there are people who are causing your fear, try to avoid them at every cost. If your past is what is causing the fear, be aware of it, and be willing to let go of it.

Find Support and Help

>> Join a support group of people who have similar issues and discuss with them your feelings, problems and at the same time, listen to theirs.

Read books that help you feel better about yourself

>> Read books that teach you to fight your fear or just any book to keep the negative thoughts away.

List your goals and the actions you need to achieve them

>> It’s important that if you want to overcome a fear, you need to make it a ‘must’ and develop an action plan to help you achieve it. Moreover, you will need to work on each action every day and take tiny steps in overcoming your fear and closer to achieving your goal!

Though overcoming a fear is certainly more difficult than simply just aplying the steps that I have shared with you but nonetheless, these steps bring you closer to becoming less fearful of an event, situation or thing. Well, our fears are learned and if we are determined enough, we can ‘unlearn’ it! But only with effort and determination! 🙂

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2 Comments

  • Reply Kayceez March 12, 2007 at 10:50 PM

    Hey Pat!
    Congrats on your first anniversary being with Calvin! Happy for you both! More happy that you’ve found the secret to overcoming this challenge, your unfounded fear, of piercing your ear!

    You’re a natural that Friday delivering the brief that Friday! And your this blog on overcoming fear, something to think about is… and perhaps to learn from is…

    how is it that a baby or a toddler never seem to have any “fear”? Example, everytime she falls, she will pick herself up and attempt to walk again, and she’ll fall, but she’ll pick herself up again. Even if she falls badly hurting herself, soon she will pick herself up and try again… doesn’t she have fear of falling again? NO! Course she never knew nor understood the concept of failure or giving up!

    Amazing isn’t it? But there’s a BIG lesson all of us adults can learn from. No matter what obstacle we encounter, no matter how BIG our (perceived) fear, it is all in our mind to overcome. Just like your sharing about ear piercing!

    Way to go gal!

    Kayceez

  • Reply -:-queen pat-:- March 12, 2007 at 11:50 PM

    Hi Kayceez! Well, it’s interesting that in Psychology, we learn that all fears are learnt! There’s a real famous experiment performed by Dr. Watson on Little Albert which clearly explains this to us! So, if we can learn our fears, we certainly can unlearn them! 😉

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