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5 Tips To Being A Courageous Coward!

May 18, 2007

Recently, I got to know Cowardly Coward through the Internet. The good thing about the Internet is that it allows you to remain anonymous or even take on different identities and anonymity then becomes a really powerful tool which empowers true cowards with courage, as now they have the ability to attack others through words posted on the Internet without revealing their true identities.

Here’s what I mean,

“New comment on your post #54 “I’m Back!!! “

Date: 1 May 2007
Author : patricia lin sux
E-mail :
patricialinsux@patricialinsux.com 

Comment:
You do not practice what you preach. All your online venture and everything you do will fail. Do you really think your bf is truthful to you? I saw Calvin with another woman outside. He will dump you after he is sick of you, you fat and ugly pig.”

Well, Cowardly Coward’s grammar certainly needs improvement. 😉 Perhaps he/she can consider engaging a private English tutor.

Now, Cowardly Coward went a step further just slightly a week ago – something which I truly must applaude him/her for doing. To me, an ex-English tuition teacher receiving a letter in her mailbox with grammatical mistakes and words incorrectly spelt, it’s definitely an eye-sore to read. 

 

Letter From Courageous Coward

 

Other than improving the grammar, here are 5 tips that I have for anyone who wants to be a courageous coward, using my experience with Cowardly Coward as a case study. 🙂

1. Make Your Message Grammatically Correct

>> Basically, just make sure that your message does not have unnecessary typing errors and also make sure that the sentences are grammatically correct. There’s a huge difference between having someone BESIDE you and having someone BESIDES you. There’s a whole world of difference between both phrases! You won’t want to shame your english teachers from school, especially if I presume you have undergone at least 6 years of Primary School education. And given Singapore’s education system, at the end of Primary 6, you should be capable of writing complete, grammatically correct sentences. So, don’t waste your teachers’ efforts in teaching you ok? Always exercise what you have been taught in class!

Anyway, the important message to take home is, it is very important to use proper words, sentences to put across exactly what we want say to another person. It reflects the importance of copy writing for any business that you need to be cautious with the way you put across your message. If your target audience doesn’t understand your message, your intended purpose of the message may backfire. As such, Cowardly Coward does need help with copy writing because his/her message is not completely clear and her purpose of the message is not understandable. Consider hiring me and Calvin as your copywriters, one of the many services that we are going to provide with our upcoming company, IMovators!

2. Always Do Adequate Market Research On Your Targets

>> Actually, given the comment I received on my blog and the snail mail, if I were an oversensitive girlfriend who didn’t trust my boyfriend, Calvin, I would have all reason to believe that while Cowardly Coward is being mean to me, at the same time, he/she is being such a caring person for warning me against my boyfriend’s possible promiscuous ways.

BUT! Always get your facts right before making any accusations.

To disappoint Cowardly Coward, Calvin is almost 99.99% all the time with me. We are so busy with school, business and dating that we are practically stuck to each other! I’m sure my friends can attest to that. In fact, they say we’re “Buy One Get One Free”. Lol! By the way, the sexy, voluptous girlfriend that you have seen Calvin with could actually be me! Haha.. Since, he’s always seen with me 😉

Next, I don’t think you did well for descriptive writing in school because you can’t describe me properly. The adjectives that you used on me are incorrect, such as fat, ugly looking, stupid, pig etc.. Why? Because, I don’t think I’m fat – I have a healthy BMI of 21. Ugly-looking, well, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If you think I am.. I’ve really got nothing much to say about that. Stupid? Mmm.. I wonder what got me into one of the Top 20 Universities in the world. Pig??? Haha.. I’m a woman, every inch from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.

3. Hire a good and reliable private investigator

>> Well, I’m not sure whether Cowardly Coward went through all the trouble of gathering all these information or hired a private investigator. All I must say is that if Cowardly Coward hired a private investigator, Cowardly Coward better sack him! Since he/she has provided such incorrect information about Calvin and I and has really cheated Cowardly Coward of both his/her time and money! Complain against the private investigator and get a refund! In case it doesn’t work, it’s always good to report the investigator to CASE!

However, if Cowardly Coward was the one who conducted the investigations and gathered such incorrect information, perhaps he/she should consider hiring a good PI?

4. Don’t waste money!

 

Envelope

>> Cowardly Coward shouldn’t waste money even if it were just a few cents. For those who don’t know, mailing a letter within Singapore only costs 25 cents. But, Cowardly Coward wasted a 50 cent stamp which could have been used to send a postcard to any country in the world! Here’s more about postage prices –> Singapore PostBut anyway, who in the world uses snail mail these days when you have email? Email is instant, cheap and you can send as many emails as you want.

In fact, think of email marketing! Because it’s instant, cost-effective and you can send to multiple receipients and will be able to scale your cowardly efforts greatly! Moreover, email is delivered instantly 24/7 and even on weekends. But there’s a possibility that it may be classified as spam. Hence, it is always important to give your name in the email and have a catchy, attractive subject name so that receipients are compelled and interested to open your mail! However, you might want to get your facts right in your email about your target before emailing them out. This is to prevent any backlash you might receive from people who receive the mail.

Well, For more information about email marketing and copy writing, do patricia@patricialin.com”>email me or you can visit www.imovators.com, which will be up and running by next week! 😉 Be my company’s first client and receive a good price for our internet marketing services!  

5. Do write down your name

>> Since you have the courage and have taken the effort to publicise about your displeasure towards your target, you should be sure to claim the recognition! Your target knows how you feel towards him/her already, it doesn’t hurt for your target to actually know who you are. Besides, I’m sure you won’t want your efforts, of researching on your target, going through the trouble of possibly stalking her boyfriend, reading her blog, buying a stamp and envelope, typing a letter and printing it out, going to a postbox and mailing it, to go unnoticed and wasted! So, be sure to write down your name on every thing that you are using to show your work – blog comments, emails and snail mails.

Who knows you can consider being the leader and setting up a hate club such as “Patricia Lin Sux” fan club? I’m sure with this recent experience, coupled with my advice on being a Courageous Coward, you can be able to boost the popularity and appeal of the fan club.

Though I must say that I am flattered by this attention that is given to me by this anonymous someone (whom I’ve been referring as Cowardly Coward in this blog post) and I am certainly pleased that I might have been taken to be the sexy and voluptous girlfriend BESIDE calvin, the person who sent me the snail mail and blog comments might want to think of the consequences of harrassment.

As tip 4 stated, “Don’t Waste Money!”, I wouldn’t want Cowardly Coward to ever have to waste money being involved in a possible police charge of harrassment. But I must say my lawyer will definitely be pleased to be engaged and to meet Courageous Coward in person. Given today’s technology and the information that I have of this anonymous person, all I can say to Cowardly Coward is you can run but you can’t hide.

Well, to end on a lighter note, it is understandable that not everyone can be a courageous coward (did you notice the oxymoron intended? Haha..) but it is hoped that with the above tips, all Courageous Coward-wannabes can learn from the mistakes committed by this person with his/her antics and well, try to innovate, be creative and even possibly be more courageous by being honest about who you really are.

Anyway, hate comments and snail mail are really a thing of the past. Think about setting up a ‘hate’ website or email, since it’s the Internet Age now. Need help with such technologically challenging skills? Remember – you can always approach and engage me or Calvin for our services. 🙂

Cheers~!

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18 Comments

  • Reply ivan May 19, 2007 at 12:22 AM

    Hi Patricia,

    I admire you for your courage to even post this blog post. I’m sure alot of other girls who receive such letter or comments will definitely cry at home and wonder who they have offended.. I really apalaud you for your courage. BRAVE girl.. Thumbs up for you.

    For cowardly coward, i suppose your plan to upset Pat kinda backfired.. so sorry for you. Wasted your time and money.. think she got up even stronger and her relationship with Calvin definitely will become stronger after this issue. Too bad..

    I really wonder how come such things still happen in a country like Singapore with so many people with nothing to do spend time go and do such childish and stupid thing. Quite saddening to see such thing happening to my friend but good thing it happens to Pat who happens to be a strong woman.. hahax..

    I have something to say to Cowardly Coward… GET A LIFE!!

  • Reply Grace May 19, 2007 at 1:19 AM

    Yoz dear!!! Love ur post!

  • Reply Calvin May 19, 2007 at 1:23 AM

    Hey Darling!

    oHhh nOoo… I’ve been caught red-handed!! How??? *looking innocently*

    haha.. Cowardly coward is sOoo cute eh.. pls strike again so that everyone can have a good laugh! and our lawyer can get busy.

    but pls! for goodness sake! be a courageous coward instead! and be sure to read carefully the tips mentioned on this post.

    lastly, thanks Cowardly Coward for referring Patrica as sexy and voluptous. WoohOoo! I’ve got good taste sia..

    hope to see cowardly coward transform into a courageous coward in his/her next attempt. and pls do consider engaging our services. 100% satisfaction guaranteed and you’ll pay only until you’ve been certified a 100% courageous coward!

    Love always,

    Calvin

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- May 19, 2007 at 12:47 AM

    Hey ivan!

    I could have actually chosen to wallow in self-pity and go into depression because well, I’ve been insulted and harrassed by someone anonymous. But I chose not to do exactly what Cowardly Coward wanted me to do – to feel miserable.

    In fact, with my post, I want to let the person know that his/her antics are really immature and sometimes, rather than channelling time and effort to petty matters, it’s better to use the time on better things such as volunteering or picking up new skills.

    I am openly saying that I do not like what Cowardly Coward did and likewise, if he/she has a problem with me and/or Calvin, I would appreciate if he/she were open with her identity and email me about it. Btw, I do this in peace.

    Anyway, thanks a lot for your encouragement, Ivan!

    Cheers,
    Patricia

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- May 19, 2007 at 1:37 AM

    Hi Grace!

    Thanks for your support all these while. 🙂 Love you too gal! Oops. Is Cowardly Coward going to email Calvin to say that he/she saw me exchanging “love you”s with a sexy and voluptous girl? Haha.. I hope not ya!

    Hugs,
    Patricia

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- May 19, 2007 at 1:41 AM

    Haha.. dear you are so naughty! Anyway, I hope that the person has learnt from his/her mistakes from this experience and not repeat such a childish antic ever again. Besides, such hate snail mail is really a thing of the past. But I’m not asking him/her to spam my mailbox with hate messages!

    Well, thanks a lot dear for being supportive when I was puzzled over this matter. But seriously, I’m thankful for the amount of faith and trust that we have in each other. Hopefully, Cowardly Coward will see that it is really nonsensical to use you are an attacking tool! hee..

    Muackz,
    Patricia

  • Reply I’ve Been Caught Red Handed With A Sexy And Voluptous Girl! at The Insights Of Calvin Woon May 19, 2007 at 12:45 PM

    […] Somebody HELP me please!!! *feigning innocence* Read more about the adventures of ‘Cowardly Coward’ and the ‘Buy 1 Get 1 Free Couple’ as Patricia teaches the ‘5 Tips To Becoming A Courageous Coward‘ (oxymoron intended) over at her blog. […]

  • Reply Desmond Ng May 21, 2007 at 7:38 PM

    That was hilarious…

    Looks like your beauty has caused some jealousy in someone. Be an angel and help her imo.

    I should try playing a similar prank on Calvin =P

    “Do You Think your GF is Faithful to you?! I Saw Patricia talking to another guy ONLINE with my SPYBOT. She will dump you after she get sick of you! You COMPUTER-GEEK LAMER!”

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- May 23, 2007 at 1:21 AM

    Hi Desmond!

    Haha.. if Calvin ever receives such a mail, I think we know who to find! Lol! Anyway, it’s interesting that many people say that Cowardly Coward is just jealous of me. Well, just for that person to know, he/she does not need to be jealous of me. He/she just needs to put in effort to get what he/she wants. This effort must be righteous and worthy, and with motivation, Cowardly coward will need not envy me again.

    Well, that is taking into the account that he/she is not a full-blooded prankster. 😛

  • Reply thinkblue May 24, 2007 at 5:03 PM

    Hey gal,

    Great post! I had a good laugh -> thanks to Cowardly Coward. Lol…

    Hugs,
    thinkblue

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- May 25, 2007 at 12:41 AM

    Hi thinkblue!

    Thanks for dropping by and well, I’m glad that my different perspective towards a rather serious matter has put a smile on people’s faces!

    Cheers,
    Patricia

  • Reply Erwin May 28, 2007 at 3:06 AM

    Get a life Cowardly Coward!!

    But thanks to Cowardly Coward, we get to see this hilarious post.

    Cheers
    Erwin

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- May 29, 2007 at 11:33 PM

    Hi Erwin!

    I’m glad that you had a good laugh with this post and well, certainly hope that Cowardly Coward has put an end to his/her antics already! 🙂

  • Reply Pam June 12, 2007 at 9:34 PM

    you rock cousin deary!!!! I only have one thing to say to Cowardly Coward and that is a big thank you for giving me such a good laugh because i KNOW the truth about Pat(duh!!! she’s my cousin!!!)and i sure as hell know that what you wrote abt. her arent’t truthful so like Calvin, i also hope that u strike again. Ciao!

    P.S. I also thank Cowardly Coward for patronizing the snail mail system. nice touch! Ever considered trying smoke signals??? hehehe!!!

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- June 12, 2007 at 9:38 PM

    Hi Pam!

    Yep yep, you know everything and how close Calvin and I are. So it’s really redundant for Cowardly Coward to resort to such antics to get my attention. I just hope that he/she has stopped all this unnecessary nonsense and has moved on to do better and more meaningful things in life.

    Thanks for posting a comment and take care! 🙂

    Cheers,
    Patricia

  • Reply Julianto June 13, 2007 at 8:12 PM

    Hi Patricia,

    My name is Julianto. Nice to see your blog. I came to know about your blog from Calvin’s blog.

    Just want to say that my two thumbs up for you!

    And I tottaly agree with the 1st comment from Ivan, let me just repeat it here:

    “I have something to say to Cowardly Coward… GET A LIFE!!”

  • Reply -:-queen_pat-:- June 13, 2007 at 11:33 PM

    Hi Julianto!

    Thanks for visiting my blog after visiting Calvin’s! 🙂 And basically, I’m so glad to be able to find support from people online, people who are strangers but yet understand what I am going through. Thankfully, Cowardly Coward has stopped his/her antics for now. * crosses fingers *

    Thanks once again!

    Cheers,
    Patricia

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