Well, Valentines’ Day has past and I bet Cupid has shot his arrows where and who he wants to shoot them at. It’s amazing how love strikes us when we least expect it.
Just like Calvin and myself. He was my best friend and we were always chatting online most of the time. Went out a couple of times for a meal, shopping and that’s about it.
However, the miraculous thing was that I actually fell for him. Haha.. And guess what, time really flies.. and we’ve been tog for close to a year!
Many friends ask me, how the heck can i maintain a relationship for this long? And well, I’ve got basically these advice to give to anyone who is pondering over this question.
1. Always Know What Both Your Partner And Yourself Want Out Of The Relationship
>>Are you meeting your and your partner’s needs? Firstly, you have to establish what they are by a thorough heart to heart talk with each other. Afterwhich, seek to understand each other better. if you both find yourselves frustrated and not realising where your relationship is heading, you need to realize that it’s not that you can’t meet each other’s needs, it’s that you don’t want to give in to each other. Think about it.
2. Respecting Your Partner and His/Her Privacy
>>Well, it shouldn’t matter why your partner needs what he or she needs. The key thing is to appreciate him/her for being who he/she is. You need to respect that he is who he is and that you shouldn’t force him/her to change or be someone that he/she isn’t. Moreover, you shouldn’t probe/intrude into his/her personal space because well, it’s still his/her life that he/she is leading!
3. Be Open About Each Other’s Feelings.
>>You’re angry. Do you keep it to yourself? If you do, how does this make your partner feel? Do you think he/she will be happy? By doing so, how would it make you feel? I don’t think your mood will turn for the better. Well, when you are frustrated/upset about something, you need to be frank and open with your emotions. Learn to talk over things and not try to run away from the situation because it won’t help!
4. Always Compromise.
>>A relationship is not one-sided. You need both hands to clap. Hence, you not only need to know what you need, but also fulfill your partner’s wants. Try talking about both of your needs and wants and arrive at a decision where both are happy and contented.
5. Don’t Forget About Romance
>>Everyone’s busy all the time. Even for myself and Calvin. However, you need to make sure that romance is always an element constituting to your relationship. You need to take time to do the simple things of romance – dinner, a slow walk in the park, sharing things, flirting, an occasional sms/call during the day etc. Always be thoughtful and try doing something sweet for no apparent reason.
6. The 4-minute Rule
>>What’s that? Well, the 4 min rule means spending the first 4 mins that you spend with each other on a day by gazing into each other’s eyes, hugging, greeting each other with a compliment, asking questions about his/her day. Or even to just hear her rant about something. Finally, smile. It can make a difference in how the day turns out to be.
7. Share A Common Interest
>>Find something that can bond the both of you together. For me and Calvin, well, we are interested in Internet Marketing and Soccer! Surfing for internet marketing tips and exchanging them, creates variety in our daily conversation. Besides, watching soccer and supporting 2 opposing teams, Chelsea and Man Utd… well, it can create a lot of sparks indeed!
Well, that’s what keeps our love for each other strong! Hee..
Here’s wishing you all the bliss in the world with your partner! And if you are still single and available, well, jiayou (all the best)! And soon, you’ll find happiness!
Food for thought: Don’t find love. Let love find you. That’s the reason why it’s called falling in love.